A Struggle

Recently I discovered that money is a major struggle for me. Bordering on being an idol...
I think about it, work for it, a plan for it extremely often. It is a constant occupant of my thoughts.
All that = PROBLEM!
Not that planning and working for money is bad but excessively doing so is bad. Everything in moderation except for God. I thought about it after I had received my last paycheck. That was on...Thursday. I realized that I was feeling a little too good about getting the money. Although it wasn't a huge sum of money: 56.00
I still felt really good about it. Then the other night in the car driving home I was thinking about how to give my company (That I want to start) to God. Then I thought, what if I gave an entire paycheck to God once a year, fully relying on Him to build the company for that time. I was thinking, "That wouldn't be so hard, I could trust God." But... Then, last night we were having a family talk and Dad called me in from my room where I was working in my financial planner. He asked me what I was doing and I told him and he blew it off as something completely unimportant... And here is the bad part... I was very offended by that. Him not seeing my money or the management of my money as important maybe because of the lesser amount that I have or... I don't know, but that was the last straw. Constant thought, Planning, Work, and then getting offended by something as little as dad not thinking what I was doing with money was important. Yeah, I would have to label it an idol. Strangely that night we were talking about God speaking to us. I think he has been for the past week. I went back to my thoughts on giving God a paycheck. I had thought that it wouldn't be hard but oh my... Giving God a simple 56.00 was difficult. January-March are usually my slow months as far as cash generating goes so it was extremely difficult for me. I have a new resolve to give God my life and my idols. I think I am going to open a missions account at the bank.